WICHITA, Kan. - In between the rush of grading finals and the chaos of the holidays, my Aunt Martha passed away. She was 91 and lived her entire life in Wapello County, Iowa. I told Martha's Story briefly before a subcommittee of the Kansas Legislature many years ago when legislators were debating yet again more restrictions to burden women in their right to seek a legal abortion. The legislators were unmoved by Martha's Story.
I did not know Martha's story until I was about to graduate from high school. What I always believed was that Martha never found anyone to marry. When my grandfather died, the farm was sold and with my grandmother, moved to the city. She spent her life cleaning the big Antebellum looking houses on the north side of town in Ottumwa, Iowa where the wealthy residents lived. At the end of the day she would take the bus back to the south side of town and go home to a tiny house she shared with her widowed mother. As an 'Old Maid', Martha naturally had a duty to care for her mother. It seemed a good arrangement for a woman who at least would have some companionship instead of living alone. At least, that is how I viewed her life as a young adult and knowing nothing of her history.
Of course, I did not want to duplicate Martha's life. I felt sorry for her. She worked hard and there was an undercurrent that Martha was in a kind of limbo status in the family. She constantly had to ask others for assistance like a child since she had very little resources but many duties. As her niece, I clearly understood she did not command a great deal of respect due to her spinsterhood status, or so I thought.
Then, by accident, my mother spilled the truth about Martha. It seems that Aunt Martha dated a man but the story ended tragically. My grandfather, a strict Swedish Lutheran who did not have a particularly high regard for women in the first place, was confronted with the news that his daughter was pregnant.
I can't imagine how embarrassing and horrifying this admission must have been for her. My grandfather's temper was legendary. He once locked his own wife in a closet when something wasn't done to his liking. My own father finally got old enough and tall enough to defend his mother from this abuse, but this story should illustrate the real fear Aunt Martha must have experienced.
Although my mother did not know every detail of the situation, she explained how Grandpa and Martha paid the gentleman a visit. It turns out he was not only already married, but the father of quite a brood of children. I don't know if Martha broke down discovering these facts but I do know this good Catholic man informed my grandfather that even if it was his baby, which he admitted it could be, there was nothing they could do because he would not leave his wife and besides, it wasn't his problem.
He was right. Back in the fifties it was all the woman's problem and fault. Martha became one of those girls who did not have any choice in the matter. She was sent away to have her baby since abortion was certainly not an option and keeping the baby was taboo as well. The baby girl was born around the same time my mother was pregnant and due to give birth to my oldest sister. This answered my own curious feelings as to why Aunt Martha always held such a deep affection for my sister. She sought solace in a niece who could be loved and never removed from her totally.
These revelations left me feeling angry and stunned. To a certain degree, Martha's young life was over with the birth of her daughter. The enormity of this fact was chilling to me as a woman. Martha was forced to live a life sentence for the crime of being female and the message was clear: "Little lady, never think for one minute your life has value over a fetus."
Too many women in America have experienced Martha's story. The freedom to make choices in life is fundamental to the human condition. Women can never be full persons in society if the government or legislators use a woman's biological capabilities to restrict and endanger her life without regard for to her own individual liberties. Our newly elected governor and many Kansas legislators have built their political careers upon the false argument that their religion should determine this decision for all women.
Forcing women to give birth against their will can never be justified by religious scripture or the doctrines of any church. I don't care if someone believes life begins at conception. The only person whose opinion counts is the woman who must take the risk to decide to birth another person. In short, opposition to choice because it offends your God is not a valid argument. Let me state this clearly. Your personal religious beliefs have no bearing on the autonomy of another individual's medical decision.
Taking away Martha's choices doomed her forever to a life of dependency upon her family. Forced to endure a dangerous medical condition and to give up her child was a shameless abuse of authoritarian power against her personhood. How much richer might Martha's life have been if she had lived in a pro-choice world and afforded the dignity to make whatever decision spoke to her heart, free of societal judgment and interference from priests, popes or politicians?
What kind of person believes this freedom of choice for women is an evil idea? Why that would be the Kansas Anti-Abortion choir boy, Scott Roeder. And it's important to note how the organization Kansans For Life, feels about poor Mr. Roeder. At their 2010 Prayer Breakfast it was explained that Roeder had no choice but to murder Dr. Tiller because he was driven to it by the failed legal system enabling Dr.Tiller to continue his practice. This kind of rationalization is both disgusting and dangerous speech.
How quickly will the Kansas Legislature resume its attack against women's reproductive freedoms? Immediately. When Governor Sam Brownback steps into the political pulpit we will hear again about how precious every life is, every life, except the mother's.
Vicky, I share your apprehension regarding the direction we may be headed after the landslide victory of the conservative republicans in our last election, both state and national.
Difference of economic and ethical business strategies are legitimate areas of debate and legislation. But individual freedom of choice regarding morals and religious issues is not a proper function of government.
We are, each one, responsible for our own moral standards and how we relate to the environment and society around us. Without question, our religious convictions have a primary role in determining those standards. However, I don't think God has given any one individual or religious denomination or sect the authority to dictate judgment and punishment on the individual.
Government does have the authority to regulate society regarding public behaviour and protection of individual freedom. There is a fine line between regulating public behaviour and individual freedom. The leadership of the two extreme factions of conservative and liberal factions are dangerous to the notion of a democracy that champions individual freedom.
Vickie--Thank you for standing strong for Martha and telling her story. I fear we are on our way back to a time when women will no longer have control over their bodies and their lives. I hope now women will stand up and fight against the forces that consider them less than nothing.
Vickie, thank you for sharing this story and your very clear and well stated opinions.
What I find most troubling about this story is not just that she wasn't allowed to have abortion, if she chose, but that she wasn't allowed to give birth to and raise her child if that was her choice. Also, the fact that the man involved had no responsibility is ridiculous. I hope we progress past this kind of mentality. I know a young woman, she's practically my cousin, she was not married but chose to have a child. She has a wonderful daughter now. There should never be any social stigma for that.