SHAWNEE, Kan. - Facts show that rape is anything but funny. According to statistics, someone in the US is raped every two minutes. Additionally, victims of rape are 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide, and 3 times more likely to suffer depression. According to the group One in Four, "8% of men admit committing acts that meet the legal definition of rape or attempted rape. Of these men who committed rape, 84% said that what they did was definitely not rape." Sixty percent of rapes are never even reported, and only 6 percent of rapists will ever spend a day in jail for their crime. Are you laughing yet?
My guess is that you probably aren't, but I've recently heard different people joke about sexual assault. They don't see the harm in such banter, but I think it's time for us to call "foul" on their words.
An actual text message I received one day read, "If a prostitute is raped; is it considered sexual assault or stealing?" My response was, "It's still rape, and that's not funny." I was told that I needed to learn how to take a joke. Unfortunately, that message wasn't an isolated incident. Another friend's recent facebook status conveyed: "Yesterday, an auntie was raped while jogging. In today's news: More aunties are jogging." Imagine my shock when I realized that other people encouraged such remarks. (I should note that after I responded to the status, the friend did apologize and removed it from his page). I find such "jokes" to be repulsive, and I wonder how many other people do too.
Eradicating rape requires us to speak with seriousness about the crime. There are some issues that shouldn't be joked about. Rape is one of them. We don't like talking about sexual assault as an epidemic, but for some reason it's socially acceptable to joke about it. Apparently, society needs reminded that the acceptance of the degradation of women starts with one's thoughts.
We need to change the way we think about sexual assault. When we laugh about rape, we send a very clear message to both the perpetrators and the survivors of the crime. Unintentionally, we tell them that the action of being raped (or of raping someone) isn't something that should be taken seriously. That is a message that frightens me. Why aren't we saying that it is socially unacceptable to joke about rape?
It's time to change not only the way we think about rape, but also the way we we talk about it. When we hear a joke about sexual assault, we should take the opportunity to educate someone on the vileness of the crime. Tell them that rape cuts deeper than a physical violation. Share with them the facts that show that sexual assault is an intimate attack on a person's human rights. When we alter the way we think about rape, we will change the way we talk about it. When that occurs, we will eventually act different. That is when we will make a difference. Our approach to sexual assault needs to rise above jokes about the crime. It's up to us to spread the message: Rape is no laughing matter.
I agree. I've been hearing a lot of jokes about rape lately. Maybe it's our patriarchal society's way of getting back at women for making strides in equality.
I had a professor that talked a lot about rape in our society and one of the things he suggested was that media should never say "she was raped" or "a woman was raped", rather they should say "a man raped a woman", as it puts the focus of the act where it belongs, the responsibility of the act where it too belongs, on the man. I think this is a good suggestion, because I think that our society often blames the victim. She shouldn't have been there, she shouldn't have been wearing that.
Rape is taboo, and I think that most people don't think jokes about rape are socially acceptable. I hope not.
Blaming the victim is a part of our culture. You get blamed if your TV is stolen; you didn't lock your door! You get blamed if your car is stolen; you didn't take the keys out of the ignition! You get blamed if you can't pay the doctor bill, or pay the rent, or buy your kids school books; you should have worked harder or saved your money! You get blamed if you're mugged; you shouldn't have been in that neighborhood! (male or female makes no difference) You get blamed if you're sexually assaulted; should you not have been so attractive? (Truth is, the rapist is not attracted by the beauty of his or her victim! It is an issue of control and opportunity.)
Without a doubt, we should all be more protective of our property, more diligent with our finances, more aware of our surroundings, more discreet with our personal assets, but, THE AGGRESSOR IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CRIME AND SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE! Sorry about the yelling, but our culture seems to be hard of hearing.