Well, that's not a bad philosophy, I guess, so I was a little surprised when they agreed to break tradition and stop here on the way. Herb didn't come in, though, and just dropped Maisie off to "visit a spell," while he went to get a haircut. As we sat down at the kitchen table and I poured the coffee, Maisie noticed the tape recorder still on the table and asked what I was doing with it. I told her I had been using it and just hadn't put it away yet. Then, on the spur of the moment, I said, "Hey, Maisie, why don't I turn it on and let it record what we say and then we can play it back for ole Herb and he won't have had to miss a thing."She laughed and said it would be fun, but she doubted if Herb would have listened much in person, let alone on tape.

Well, I turned it on anyway and we proceeded to talk and laugh over mutual interests.Soon we almost forgot the recorder was even on, and later Maisie was right -- Herb said thanks but no thanks, politely. He didn't want to "listen to what two women folks had to say when they was just talkin' to each other". Later, though, when I listened, I figured out that Maisie, the almost 89-year-old philosopher, had some ideas worth sharing. Her comments for the last few months seem to always include the phrase "If i live six (or five or whatever the count is now) more months, I'm a-gonna be 89 years old, so I gotta right to say this."

So, here I'll try to quote her words to share with you, "The World According to Maisie":

"Well," she said, "I ain't much wantin' to talk about this here health care reeform business today because that's all there's been on the television for weeks now. They shoulda got that done years ago so we could focus on why we gotta spend so durn much of our money on killin' people off stead of tryin' to make 'em well. You tole me once that our country spends 1.9 million dollars every minute on war and what it takes to make war and pay for soldiers and veterans and guns and tanks and bullets, and I don't know what all. I don't rightly think I can get my head around the idea of what a million dollars is, but I know if we spend that much every minute durin' the whole day and then the whole week, it's gonna tote up to a powerful lot of money in a year's time. And it seems to me we coulda better used that money for feedin' hungry folks and buildin' houses for people that ain't got a roof over their heads.

"All them super reeligious people is always askin' "What would Jesus do?'. Well, I wanta ask them what He would do if he was here and he found out we was spendin' all that money to kill people and nothin' to help 'em when they's starvin'. And I wanta ask them, didn't they ever read nothing about feedin' the hungry and clothin' the nekked and all that! And, here's another thing: why do folks get so mad if our president says our country ought to do better? Heck, it's our country, ain't it? And ain't it his job to make it better? But, I do wonder why he decided to send more of our young-uns over there to fight and kill more people?

"Now hold on a minute, cause that just made me think of somethin' else that's botherin' me. Why does anybody want to send one of their kids to the army or air force or whatever, if they are gonna teach them such gol-darned tomfoolery as they do? For instance, they teach them how to use TECHNOLOGY. WHOOPEE! Now I think that it would be great if they was learning any useful technology, but the kind they's teachin' them is how to shoot missiles or rockets or something at buildings half a world away. And the bullets or rockets or whatever, find their way to a building with people in it because of BODY HEAT. That's what I heard them say on tee-vee. They don't even have to be good shots or be lookin' much at them. They just fire and the missile or plane or WHATEVER just goes and hits the house that has 50 people in it because of the body heat! So it's just like playing them video games, except when they pull the trigger, they might be killin' 50 people with one shot.

"Then when them kids come home after they are through "serving" what do you think they are like? They ain't like the kids they was when they left you. And some of my neighbors tell me it's just like they lost half of their hearts or their souls or something. And you know that's what my taxes is buying -- and your taxes, too! Don't that make YOU mad? Ain't you figured out anything you can do about it? I am still tryin' to figure something out and I haven't come up with no idea yet, but I'm still thinkin'. Herb says I think too much. Maybe he's right.

"But, honey, ole Herb's gonna be comin' back any minute and we need to talk about something happier, so we got better memories afterwards, you know. Oh, I know..let me tell you about this wise idea Herb had just before Thanksgiving. He's been telling the neighbors all this. You know how our twins, when they got growed up, moved about as far away as they could get. Well, Marshall lives in Connecticut and Marsha just moved to California. So Herb, he called up Marshall and said, 'Well, I have had it with your mother! That old woman has yelled at me one time too many, so last night I told her to just shut her mouth. Well, son, she yelled back at me and told me to pack my bags and get out. I didn't leave the house, but I did move to the spare bedroom and tomorrow I am going to file for a deevorce. If you think your sister should know about it, you can call her, cause I ain't goin' to!' Then he hung up.

"One hour later Marsha called and she said, 'Daddy, you listen to me! You are NOT going to file for a divorce! Marshall and I will be flying in on Wednesday and we will talk to you both before you do anything' then, according to Herb, he hangs up the phone and turns around to me and says, 'Hot Dog Mother, both of our kids is comin' home for Thanksgiving and it ain't costin' us nothin!' Well, now of course, there ain't none of that the truth, but it sure does make a funny story, don't it? Well, here he is now. Thanks for the coffee, honey, and that good coffee cake. I'm gonna hafta get your recipe for that. Why don't you come out and see us real soon and we can talk about this big education thing where some school boards is gonna sue the state if they don't pony up. I got some ideas about that!"

Well, like I said, Maisie gives you a lot of food for thought. At least she gave ME some, and I'm not even sure if I got her recipe!